I want to be able to do all the things. Read + write + sew + knit + crochet + be the best cat mom ever and more. I can't do all those things if I don't optimize my time.

After clocking out, I traveled home this past Saturday feeling uneasy. Towards the end of the day, one of my managers rudely and abruptly interrupted an interaction I was having with a customer to use the computer I was in front of. I was baffled that she would interrupt me like that so I just stood stupid staring at her for a minute. There was no apology from her.

My conversation with that customer had no hopes of being redeemed.

The customer wasn't going to buy anything — which is ultimately our tangible goal as sales associates — but solidifying lasting and meaningful relationships is where we have to really excel in a world where people hate useless people.

I walked onto the floor and made myself constructively busy to mask how pissed I was. Over our radio she said, “Geez Mara, I just wanted to use the computer. Why'd you have to look at me like I was crazy?”

Bracing myself, gritting my teeth: “The customer always comes first. And even though my customer wasn't going to buy, you abruptly ended our interaction toward a positive outcome for the store.”

No response.

I don't regret what I said. I do regret my initial response to her interrupting my customer and I.

Being assertive with people I know is hard for me. But we can't be solely self-serving in a field where we're to advise people on their purchases. People already sees salespeople as slimey. I refuse to further that belief at my job.

Getting home that night, I knew I needed to focus on something other than myself but I needed to stay awake. Otherwise I'd do something useless like take an anger nap or stare in the mirror and poke at my imperfections for at least two hours. So I sat at my laptop debating on what to do instead of sleep.

I thought about all the ways I spend time unproductively.

I spend a significant amount of my time looking at clothing + makeup. Fashion has always been intriguing to me since I was little, and makeup has become so somewhat recently. I've been hooked on the YouTube Beauty Community since late-highschool. Consuming this content is great for developing my makeup skill, but I feel my wallet is too well-acquainted with Sephora's prices. I've been laying off watching most beauty guru's for the past few months because work has gotten a bit more intensive for me. I still keep up with the drama, but watching less of the beauty guru's content helps me not focus on what I have and don't have makeup-wise. And this in turn opens up more time for me to live my life with purpose.

So I deleted 5,000+ promotional emails from my personal Gmail, it took a long-ass time, but I did it. Most of it was clothing and makeup offers. I'm also thinking about going through my emails tagged as updates and social too, but maybe it'd just be easier to start clean with a new email address and possibly new email client. I'll have to look into that.

Even though I look at my inbox sporadically whether or not I receive emails, it still time spent. And that time adds up. I'd rather it add up to something worthwhile than something mindless.

I still feel susceptible to impulse purchases, but now I at least am not bombarded with them on my primary messaging client.

#personal #blog #rambleramble