Film vs Writing

I think in pictures, flashing images, and movies.

I feel a natural compulsion to get into film because that's just how I'm geared mentally. That's how I decipher the world — through visuals and emotions.

And I would get into film to make movies and music videos. But it just seems so expensive. The various equipment, the editing. Maybe if I went to film school I'd be able to do all that and rent equipment. But I don't want to lock myself into a film degree if it's something I don't want to do in the end.

I have a forever growing list of songs that when I listen to them each time, I can clearly see a story in my head.

But it hurts sometimes to think about said stories because I don't have the means to realize that vision. I mean, I suppose I could try and scrounge up what I have currently have in my own home and community. But I am a hard-ass. I demand excellence from myself. I know when you first begin in any field, what you initially create is far from excellent. I think because I visualize everything in my head, not just music, I want sheer perfection in my creative execution.

Hell, I have a “Music Videos To Make” playlist on my Spotify.

I like writing. Because in the end, all you need is your mind and a writing implement. You're still creating and weaving a story like a film, just without straightforward visuals and sounds. With film, there's so much to cover. Which is awesome, but it's not simple for an individual to pursue. I teeter and totter between pursuing it. Writing is fulfilling to me. I know without a doubt film, with the right resources and equipment, would be more fulfilling to me. But I don't know if I have it in me to go through all those avenues and hoops if my end result will be subpar even with stellar conditions.

It feels kind of lame to admit that. Writing does give me a kick. So I don't believe I'm settling so much so as I'm choosing to pursue a different path in life.

In choosing writing I suppose my ultimate goal is to sync what I experience mentally, be it a music video or a story idea, on paper. Film would be an easier medium to realize this, but the journey would be more challenging than writing. Both are challenging, but film just feels that way more so. But I think that's just because I haven't pursued it yet.

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