My Second Boss

I saw my boss from my previous job today.

Not that I look that much different from over a year ago, but I didn't want her to recognize me at first. She was extremely pleasant. And asked me how I'd been. We had a short conversation. I told her I was figuring myself out in a lot of regards — driving, school, etc. — and I was stressed about it. She told me that all that was definitely stressful, but that I could do it, despite that. And that was really nice to hear.

My first job was actually an office job as a teenager. The job I had with her was my second job. She was really hard on me. She definitely embraced the tough aspect of tough love. I am 99% sure she thought I was mentally handicapped because of the way she treated me after my first day.

On my first day working fast-food, my nerdy, nervous self asked her a few questions about working in the industry and specific things about our restaurant. Our conversation was quick. At the end of it, she looked me dead in the eyes and said: “You're not gonna make it here.” And then she promptly left me to do my orientation training on a laptop. I tried my best not to visibly cry during that.

I remember coming home that first day and crying in my partner's car. I didn't want to go back because I felt so shitty. My parents made me feel like that. I didn't willingly want to work somewhere where that feeling was replicated. But my partner said to just take it one day at a time — And he wouldn't judge me if I quit.

So I did that. And I stayed there for a little over three months, and then I came across the job I have now.

At one point during my short employment, she sat me down and we discussed a few of my personal struggles: my OCD, depression, my rocky relationship with my parents. She told me I needed to stop making excuses for myself in the most loving way possible. I needed to be fearless. Even though she was still rough around the edges with her delivery, I knew exactly what she meant. And so I do my best to carry that with me.

It was nice to see a face that believed in me.

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